You’re Nobody Until Somebody Hates You!

By David A. Barber
Author of Gigging, Everything You Need to Know About Playing Gigs (Except How to Play Your Axe)

We’ve seen it over and over again. A band works hard and climbs up to the top of their regional ladder. They’re getting the corporate gigs and all the best club gigs and lots of people are showing up everywhere they play. They’ve been pretty nice to most of the people around them, helping compatible bands by bringing them on as openers, offering up advice, even phone numbers, when it comes to booking and then BAM! The tide turns and everyone starts bad-mouthing them on social media or behind their backs at gigs.

“Why do they get all the good weekend gigs and we only get these crappy Wednesday nights?” or “They aren’t that good, our guitar player can play rings around that guy.” or the dreaded “I heard she’s sleeping with that booking guy and that’s the only reason she got this gig.”

All that kind of shit sucks! Right?

But what an excellent barometer to judge how well the act is doing. The act is so successful that others in the scene think it’s newsworthy to discuss who they’re sleeping with. They are analyzing the guitar playing and trying to figure out why it’s so popular. They may even figure out why the successful act gets better gigs. (Usually, it’s because the band is simply better than the bands those haters are in.)

It’s human nature at it’s worst, but it’s nothing to get worried about, it’s nothing to argue about and can actually be a sign of success. Most people who perceive an inequity will leap at any opportunity to lay the blame anywhere except on themselves. Nobody really likes to admit the truth, that their own act just isn’t as good as those guys that seem to get all the breaks, or simply hasn’t been working as hard for as long to get where they are today. The truth is that most of them started out right at the bottom, too and built their way to the top with a lot of hard work. Dissing them ain’t gonna make your act any better. Playing better, writing better songs and promoting the hell out of yourself will all help much more.

In business, it’s generally a bad thing when people bad-mouth you, but as the saying goes, any publicity is good publicity. At least they are talking about you. The opposite would be much worse. Nobody will hire a band or business they haven’t heard of. If a talent buyer or prospective client asks about the controversy, there’s your chance to set the record straight to one of the few people who even need to know.

You can’t please everyone, so some people will always dislike you for some reason. Usually, something completely outside of your control. so don’t worry about them. Put your time and energy into the people/projects who know you better than that and who won’t hesitate to put in a good word for you. Stay out of those hate-filled social media groups and away from the people who trash talk you behind your back. They’ll soon find someone else to pick on (probably, one of their own). There’s a reason why the most successful people in the region don’t show up on those boards. They’re busy working. They don’t have time to waste on gossip, bad-mouthing and that kind of bullshit.

Bottom Line: If you’re getting dissed, calm down, don’t lower yourself to their level by replying back in a hateful fashion and congratulate yourself for achieving a level of success that makes others jealous.