band talk

Ain't No Crime - The Whiskey Bottles

Well this is Jack Burton and the Pork Chop Express and I am clearly talkin’ to whoever is listening. I am a reasonable man that is proud to be a patron of this good ole U….S….of A. Recently in my highway adventures I have found myself hooked in the talented grasps of the Mile High Music Scene. A long story short is a hard type of concept for myself to be able to grasp but here it goes…
With these past words said I will let you folks know I am honored to announce the great people of “RockonColorado.com” have invited me to supply CD reviews for all the amazing talent here in Colorado.
Now please know I am a fair man and some might even say an accidentally righteous man, so please avoid gathering an army of undead Samuri soldiers to lynch me in the valleys of your chosen sun and rip my good sometimes tax paying American skull from the non-yellow spine of my PBR drinking body if you do not agree with my fair opinion.
For that is just what it is folks a conscious opinion from a confident yet humble man. My reviews will be placed into your God fearing mind like this:
Three ten point levels….
1. Song writing, Sound Marketability etc…
2. Highway listening (Can the CD control an area the size of a jail cell and get all patrons to forget a long road trip?)
3. Originality, Originality, Originality
There will be bonus points for songs that are just out of this world or hidden factors that will be brought to the surface. Same goes in the negative manner for super bad songs or other variables.
26-30 Points = “They are really shakin’ the pillars of heaven Wang.”
22-25 Points = “Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
18-24 Points = “It’s all in the reflexes”
10-17 Points = “I’m a reasonable man, but I just experienced some very unreasonable music.”
0-9 Points = “Black blood of the earth is spewing from the bowels of this CD.”

Howdy Do Here We go!

Ain't No Crime - The Whiskey Bottles


The Whiskey Bottles “Ain’t no Crim
e.” www.theWhiskeyBottles.com
Management: BoCo Management
Recorded at Brown Note Digital Recording


1. Song writing and marketability are very raw and in line for what this genre calls for. The beautiful vocals of Miss Molly Orlando can easily take you away in a Wyoming second. Solid all around honky tonk music that I know I could hear all across this great U….S….of A‘s Honky Tonk‘s. A taste of Americana and that Whiskey lore help things out as well. There are a few songs that don’t fit the bill and could be dropped from the album one of which is BlackJack Betty. I can see where they are trying the traditional fun song writing, but it just doesn’t hang.
7/10

2. Highway listening would be moderate on this CD. Not sure if I would want to listen to the whole album thru more than once. I would for sure hit the skip button on a few of the fillers. Now don’t lynch me just yet, I already explained they would be an easy fit for many honky tonks across this great nation so I am not completely bashing em just wouldn’t be very dang happy if my CD player broke with this particular Compact Disc occupying the inside’s.
6/10


3. Now as always here is my strictest table of musical guideline’s. Originality is not a strong point on this album sadly. I feel a mix between Honky Tonk, Swing, Americana and Modern Country. Not a mix that makes the music their own, but rather a mix between genres that fall into chorus’s that take control of the songs.
“Foolish Woman” if you speed it up is almost the same beat as the new Monday Night Football jam heard 18 weeks a year on ESPN by Miss Faith Hill.
I know my words my seem a bit harsh, but Originality is very important for me. For I have traveled many miles in the Pork Chop Express and have heard all genres of music and truly love all genre’s so I am begging for bands to prove that original and unique music can still be made. Very easy to back up against a well loved genre and fall into a comfortable place.

5/10
Final Grade 18/30 - “It’s all in the reflexes…”


Overview:
My final grade may seem very low and harsh, but if you read my review’s you will quickly learn I am very strict because music is my love and now the Mile High Music scene has landed me a set home which is weird being a traveling man.
“Ain’t no Crime” is very worth a look at and know if you like the above referenced genre’s I mentioned they may be right up your corral. One of the beauties of music is we all have different tastes. My job is not to hurt Colorado musicians, rather give constructive critiscm that is MY sole opinion.
I for sure wanna see the “Whiskey Bottle’s” live because that is really where you can get a feel. Studio CD’s can so falsely represent a band. Sometimes for the worse. I bet their live energy is very strong!

-Jack Burton “Pork Chop Express”

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